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tommee_girl
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Name: Dao
Country: United States
State: Wisconsin
Birthday: 7/1/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Draw, V-ball, sing, tennis, and read
Expertise: singing and drawing
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
6/24/2004
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| hey its me...i know i said i wouldnt come back...but im feeling super depressed i just have to let it out...my life is like hell...i even wrote a poem about it...did you wanna hear? its really psycho...so i guess i shouldnt tell it...i think it would scare most ppls...my mental stability has gone down hill...im going crazy...i miss him so much...im so stupid...i just hope god can help me and i hope i can be happy again...i've never been as happy as when i was w/ him in my whole life...he makes me feel important and worthwhile...im serious...and seriously...hes the only person whose ever truly cared about me...well cyas all i dunno if im ever gonna come back here...we'll just have to see... | | |
| hey everyone! happy new years! just saying bye to evryone cause im leaving xanga forever...plus my dad is getting rid of internet so i might as well end it now...oh yea i broke up w/ my boyfriend even though i never wanted to...life sux...its all too complicated to explain...im miss him so much...life doesnt really mean much to me anymore cause im not happy anymore...he was the only reason y i decided to continue w/ this sucky ass life...he was the only thing keeping me going and making me happy...well bye everyone! hope ur new year is better than mine is going to be! | | |
| hey alls! i have a major headache! i can't seem to make my layout work so i decided to cancel...well lets see life has been hell and is hell! i can't seem to make anything to work out! oh yea i think the gig is up! i might get kicked out of my house cause my uncle caught me w/ my bf and he'll probably snitch on me to my dad and my dad wont like it he has already warned me a million times not to talk to my bf...he doesnt even kno that we're dating so yea im a dead person...well i will be soon...well its all too complicated and long to tell..im so confused and overwhelmed! arghhh! (rips out a chunk of hair) i think i love my bf...but sometimes im just not so sure...there's just so much going on in my life that i dont know what to think or do anymore...andy and i have been talking about getting married in the future but i dont think that it will work out...theres just too much hardships and problems that will occur if we do...and plus if he were to ever say a racial comment against me i will kick him out of the house and i will never forgive him ever! sometimes i wonder if what im doing is correct...im not sure if what im doing is the wrong choice...am i going down the wrong path? im not sure at all...i dont know what im going to do with myself...i think i need a break to think things over...but im not sure...im just so frustrated...im starting to really hate myself cause i never know what i want...gosh i have a bad migraine! theres just too much going on in my life...its been a real hell! i just want to be happy God! is that too hard to grant?! sometimes i wished htat i didnt exist cause life would be less difficult cause i wouldnt have ever been around to worry about anything...i dont know what to do about all my problems...people just keep asking and asking and i just keep giving and giving...im running out of givings i dont know how much more of this i can take! people expect too much from me! i cant do it all! i just want to get away from the world...be alone and think and think and think...so that i know what i really want in life...i think i take my bf for granted...maybe if i took a break from him i would learn to appreciate him more? i hope i will...sigh...christmas is coming up...im starting to hate christmas cause right now im just going through too much! i feel like my head is going to explode! im so freakin tired too! sigh...i wish i could start all over with life...my life is sooo sucky right now too because of all the racist peoples in the world just making things so much harder for me! why can't everyone just get along?! is that too much to ask for? i think the end of the world is near...cause of all the shit occuring around in the world! i just want to be happy! please just let me be happy for once! arghh...applying for college is sooo difficult too! ahhh! well now i feel a little better that i vented it out! well i gtg! cyas | | |
| hey alls! just gonna say some quick stuff cause i gtg to work soon! i just made a stupid mistake earlier by getting all mad at my bf...but we fixed it...guess what?? andy has mono...so i didnt get to see him for four days! i was so sad and depressed these past couple of days but guess what!! i get to see him tomorrow!!! (in a sing song voice) oh yea and plus andy is afraid that he might have given me mono too but im just like, "Don't worry...i wont get mono! cause i got super good immunities...and like my brother dong says about him is the same for me...if I were to get aids my white blood cells would kill them in less than a second...so yea you dont need to worry!" but he's just like...ehhhh i dunno...he told me to promise him that i wouldnt get sick...and i did...but i dont think i have any control over that...oh hey andys back online! yay! well cyas peeps im gonna chat w/ him...hehehe im sorry for ditching u all for him! well bye now!
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| hey alls! things have gotten a lil better...except i almost came to breaking up w/ my bf on saturday! im so stupid...its true girls act on their emotions but nobody does it like i do! im really stupid...my bf went to a stupid hmong wedding at a friends house so the groom made my bf drink but my bf called me about it to tell me cause he wanted to know if i was okay w/ it...i wasnt but i was like okay w/e do it if u want too...i dont like him drinking...i always worry when he drinks and he knows this so hes trying to stop..hes not a big time drinker anyways but sometimes he has cravings or something?? but yea i got mad at him for going to that stupid wedding...so i told him go ahead i dont care...i was reallymad at him...later i called him again cause i really wanted and needed to talk to him and i was crying on the phone while i was talking to him but you know what he did? he said he was going to go and i still needed to talk to him but i was mad so i was like yea okay go...after i hung up i was crying real bad and i was hurt (not physically but mentally)...he gave me this teddy (a while back) and u know what i did w/ it? i chucked it at the wall! im so sorry teddy! i didnt mean to do it! im awful! but yea ever since we've been going out...its like every week i was upset over something he did and i was always crying over it (im overly emotional) so i thought maybe i dont really need this cause im always crying over something and i thought maybe it would never work out so its best to end it now? but i really loved him so i didnt know what to do so i spent the whole night trying to convince myself that i didnt need him and then i woke up and kept trying to convince myself still...when i finally did i decided to call his cell phone but he turned it off and i didnt want to leave a message on his phone saying i was breaking up w/ him cause that is just pathetic...so i told him to meet me after i was done w/ work but it turns out he was working before i was done so i called him up again and told him to meet me before work...so i was waiting like around 6 hours until i finally went to work to tell him that i wanted to break up w/ him but after a while i realized that i didnt want to break up w/ him cause it would hurt too much to be apart from him when i loved him so much and i'd rather cry and be in pain then be away from him and lose him forever so when i got there i told him that i was planning on breaking up w/ him but i realized i was so stupid and i still needed him and i really love him and i started crying cause i almost made the biggest mistake in my life! why did i tell him i was planning on breaking up w/ him? cause i believe that i had to be honest in a relationship no matter what...but now we are okay and im glad that he and i are on the right track again...all i have to say is THANK GOD HIS CELL PHONE WAS TURNED OFF! or else i would have made the biggest mistake ever! oh yea he and i finally chose out a song for us! its called "like a rose" by A1...he wants that song because he thinks it fits us perfectly...cause he thinks that i am an angel sent from god above for him to love...thats what the song says...i wish i could set it up as my music playing on xanga but i dunno how and its just too complicated...im sorry i made everyone bored! i promise that next time i update i'll try to talk about something other andy...but i cant help it! he's constantly on my mind everyday, every hour, every second of my life! my friend asked me what would i choose? LOVE or LIFE and i told him i would choose love over life for andy...cause whats the use of a life w/out love?! sorry im all lovey dovey and emotional...sometimes i feel like andy deserves better cause all i do is cry and get mad over little things and when i get mad i dont care what i say to him even if it could hurt him cause when im hurt i just have to hurt the other person back...im just really horrible and im over emotional and all i can think about is myself...if i were to buy one of those shirts that say "its all about me" then it would be so true and would fit my personality perfectly but i always hated those shirts cause i dont want it to be all about me...but im trying to change myself for the better so that this relationship can last...well i gtg now! im sorry all i did was talk about this, there were other things but i already wasted enough of ur time so i better let u off! alright cyas! i'll try to update more often! bye! | | |
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